Sunday, April 10, 2016

Posted by Little Sukie Posted on Sunday, April 10, 2016 | 4 comments

When did you last feel anything!!!

Last night, at an ungodly hour, I woke up form a nightmare in which I was yelled at and chased by my work colleagues and my boss.  I had to change my PJ because I was drenched in sweat.It was not fun.

Going to work and expecting all sorts of shit to happen is not fun.When shit doesn't happen I feel uncomfortable and I can't relax. I'm always on alert. It sucks and it directly affects my stomach, creating either indigestion or diarrhea.If I relax for a second some major catastrophe strucks.
Last night,out of the blue I had to buy beer and drink it.It was 9:37 and I went to the supermarket in my PJs.

It's been more than a year since I'm working and although I've improved my work habits and my language skills, learned new things which will be extremely useful in later life, especially in dealing with people, somehow, along the way I've lost myself.

I went from one extreme to another, from being overly emotional to not feeling anything at all.There is no sense of joy, no sadness, no energy, nothing.I'm listless and don't give a damn about things.I'm not looking forward to anything and I'm not sad or affected by things either. I just accept them as they are, good /bad things that happened, nothing to see here, nothing to talk about. Let's move on. Next. Maybe I'm bipolar or something.

This was my reality for a while.
But I think that last night I sort off snapped out of it.I remembered that I have a blog, I used to care a lot about.I forgot how relieving is to pour all your thoughts and fears into the post and suddenly feel liberated.I forgot how fun looking for gifs and images can be and also how frustrating it is when you gif wont load or your connection is slow or your post won't publish.These now seem so minuscule comparing to real life problems.

First step was reading what others bloggers have been doing all this time while I was not being me.
I've started with Bitchy Dust. She is such a gem.Honestly,after going through several of her posts I felt much much better.She also gave me a good idea of what to do with my blog for the next 30 days (cough cough...will try not to prolong it to 2 months).Stay tuned!

Then I moved forward to Velika Ljubav na Malo Kvadrata and there I've read about Misty's Sims family and I laughed so much. Seriously,I used to play  every Sims version since it's creation.
I downloaded 20 GB of Sims 3 with all expansions and naughty naughty cheats last year and I never got to play it.I need to pull myself together ASAP.As soon as I can I will go through other awesome blogs I follow and see what is happening there.Will also start with reading of newly discovered blogs.

Also, here is a little bit of a Throwback Thursday for you.
Me, on my good days.

Berlin, August 2015
(seems like it was decades ago)

Trying out sushi for the first time,
August 2015 :D

Favorite time of the year - Halloween,
October 2015

My very own champions...and that one cat who
doesn't like socializing :/
December 2015

When you look like a gang from Tarantino's movie
...and then someone adds Leo :D

How are you feeling these days?