Sunday, April 10, 2016

Posted by Little Sukie Posted on Sunday, April 10, 2016 | 4 comments

When did you last feel anything!!!


Last night, at an ungodly hour, I woke up form a nightmare in which I was yelled at and chased by my work colleagues and my boss.  I had to change my PJ because I was drenched in sweat.It was not fun.



Going to work and expecting all sorts of shit to happen is not fun.When shit doesn't happen I feel uncomfortable and I can't relax. I'm always on alert. It sucks and it directly affects my stomach, creating either indigestion or diarrhea.If I relax for a second some major catastrophe strucks.
Last night,out of the blue I had to buy beer and drink it.It was 9:37 and I went to the supermarket in my PJs.



It's been more than a year since I'm working and although I've improved my work habits and my language skills, learned new things which will be extremely useful in later life, especially in dealing with people, somehow, along the way I've lost myself.



I went from one extreme to another, from being overly emotional to not feeling anything at all.There is no sense of joy, no sadness, no energy, nothing.I'm listless and don't give a damn about things.I'm not looking forward to anything and I'm not sad or affected by things either. I just accept them as they are, good /bad things that happened, nothing to see here, nothing to talk about. Let's move on. Next. Maybe I'm bipolar or something.


This was my reality for a while.
But I think that last night I sort off snapped out of it.I remembered that I have a blog, I used to care a lot about.I forgot how relieving is to pour all your thoughts and fears into the post and suddenly feel liberated.I forgot how fun looking for gifs and images can be and also how frustrating it is when you gif wont load or your connection is slow or your post won't publish.These now seem so minuscule comparing to real life problems.


First step was reading what others bloggers have been doing all this time while I was not being me.
I've started with Bitchy Dust. She is such a gem.Honestly,after going through several of her posts I felt much much better.She also gave me a good idea of what to do with my blog for the next 30 days (cough cough...will try not to prolong it to 2 months).Stay tuned!

Then I moved forward to Velika Ljubav na Malo Kvadrata and there I've read about Misty's Sims family and I laughed so much. Seriously,I used to play  every Sims version since it's creation.
I downloaded 20 GB of Sims 3 with all expansions and naughty naughty cheats last year and I never got to play it.I need to pull myself together ASAP.As soon as I can I will go through other awesome blogs I follow and see what is happening there.Will also start with reading of newly discovered blogs.

Also, here is a little bit of a Throwback Thursday for you.
Me, on my good days.

Berlin, August 2015
(seems like it was decades ago)


Trying out sushi for the first time,
August 2015 :D


Favorite time of the year - Halloween,
October 2015


My very own champions...and that one cat who
doesn't like socializing :/
December 2015



When you look like a gang from Tarantino's movie
...and then someone adds Leo :D



How are you feeling these days?


Monday, September 14, 2015

Posted by Little Sukie Posted on Monday, September 14, 2015 | 9 comments

Nominacije...Pitanja...Bring it On

****



Bas kao sto je Bitchy bila uzbuđena zbog ove nominacije, tako sam i ja
bila presretna.Netko me se sjetio.
Hvala punoooooooo.



***

Ja sam dobila zadatak da odgovorim na ovih 10 pitanja
 i vjerujte da jedva čekam.
Let us begin!

1.  Da ti odjednom pred vratima iskrcaju 5 klinaca i kažu da si "osvojila" skrbništvo, koliko bi ti trebalo da se onesvijestiš i što bi učinila kad se osvijestiš? 

Ne bih se onesvijestila.Nema potrebe za tim.
Zalupila bi im vrata ispred nosa i poručila kroz njih da sam
mentalno nepodobna da odgajam djecu.



2. Koja je najodbojnija navika koju ljudi mogu imati?  

Na početku mi je to bilo nedostatak lične higijene.Sad mi je najodbojnija navika miješanje u tuđi život.Jaro mogu preć preko toga što se nisi okupao il što kopaš nos na javnom mjestu,podriguješ i prdiš u drustvu, al onog trena kad se počneš meni i drugima miješati u život i dijelit savjete i mišljenje koje ti niko nije trazio, mi smo završili.



3. Što misliš koliko bi dugo izdržala u reality showu tipa "Survivor" i zašto? 

Izdržala bi dok me ne izbace.Sama ne bi izašla.Ja smatram da sam žilavo celjade i 
da imam dovoljno mozga u glavi i snage u tijelu da preživim bar koju sedmicu na "bogu iza nogu" ostrvu.Sve one godine odrastanja koje sam provela pentrajući se po drveću,valjajući se u blatu,praveći razno orudje sa rođacima,spavajuci vani i jedući maline,nezrele trešnje,džanarike i orahe su bile odlična priprema.Preživjela sam i čopore neobuzdane djece i ljudi, koji ne da su psiho nego za njihovo stanje nema poznate dijagnoze. Kad sam njih trpila džabe, trpila bi i one likove iz Survajvera za honorar.





4. Što je po tebi najdosadniji posao na svijetu i nikad ga ne bi mogla raditi?

Posao koji sam lično radila bio je brojanje anketa.To mi je bilo nešto nadosadnije i najzamornije što sam ikad u životu obavila.Nakon 5 dana brojanja,jedino što sam imala u glavi bilo je agree,strongly agree,disagree,strongly disagree i neutral.Sanjala sam te riječi i sa istim odgovarala ljudima na pitanja.Ne želim više nikad u životu vidjet nijednu jedinu anketu, a kamoli je ispunit.



5. Recimo da ti ponude milijun eura ako uspiješ tri mjeseca jesti jednu te istu hranu, što bi jela tri mjeseca i misliš li da bi izdržala? 

Za milijun eura bi izdržala tri mjeseca.Izudarala bi samu sebe da ne uspijem.Netko mi daje nešto džabe, a ja inače džabe samo batine mogu dobit,i ispala bih toliki idiot da ne dam sve od sebe.Jela bi noodle jer u jednom pakovanju dobiješ sve što ti treba,začine,sos i tjesteninu.Purrfect!



6. Da radiš u zoološkom vrtu kao timaritelj, za koje životinje ne bi voljela biti zadužena i zašto? 

Ne bih voljela bit zadužena za velike životinje tipa lavovi,tigrovi,mede,slonovi,gorile iz razloga jer me mogu pojest,ozbiljno osakatit,zgazit ili nokautirat.Radje bi se brinula za manje koje me mogu ogrebat,ujest ili otkinut prst,ali bi makar preživjela.Osim ako me neko od njih zubima ne dohvati za vrat,a mislim da nema razloga za to.



7. Koji je najbolji savjet koji si dobila od roditelja?

Najbolji mi je vjerovatno na jedno uho ušao a na drugo izašao.Ebiga.Ovaj nije nije najbolji ali je koristan. "Nikad ne čini drugima ono što ne bi voljela da neko učini tebi.Poštuj druge a voli sebe i nikad ne uzimaj ono što je tuđe."Ovo zadnje je vjerovatno zato što sam ko klinka iz obdaništa donijela jednom nečiju barbiku.Dobila sam dobre batine za to i još sam se morala javno izvinut pred čitavom grupom.Moja mati stvarno zna kako da nekm iskorijeni loše navike.





8. Koliko često plačeš i zašto najčešće?

Uh,ovih dana plačem na svaku sitnicu.Već sam pisala o tome u prošlom postu.
Danas sam plakala jer sam shvatila da sam izgubila omiljenu košulju.Pretražila sam čitavu kuću,
harasirala sve poznate i nepoznate ljude i "NE" niko nije vidio,niti ima moju košulju.Bila je to jedna predobra košulja koju sam platila samo 0.50 KM na buvljaku.Ako neko zna gdje mogu nabavit istu ili kojim slučajem ima istu,nek se javi.Plaćam!

Look at it,just look at it...ajjj duša me boli.












9. Na ljestvici od 1-10, koliko si teška osoba? Objasni. 

Pa ne znam tačno.Možda sam i 10-tka ali mi niko to dosad nije rekao.
Nisam tip osobe koji se istresa na ljude radi sitnice.Ne tražim svađu i vrlo sam flexibilna.
Šta znam.ljudi mogu sa mnom pa me to valjda svrstava u red osoba s kojim je lako surađivat.
Mrzim opterećivat ljude svojim problemima i pričom,osim ako oni to sami ne zahtjevaju.
Jedina osoba na koju se iskreno ljutim i sa kojom se svađam i čupam za kose sam ja sama.



10. Koje su ti boje nokti trenutno? 

Nemam lak na noktima.Nokti su mi u očajnom stanju.
Imam bijele tačkice po njima (nedostatak vitamina) i dosadne zanoktice svuda uokolo.
Zavidim onim silnim bloggericama na zdravlju i ljepoti njihovih noktiju,kose,lica.
Ja ovih dana ne izlazim iz pidžame i ne izgledam ko žena.



Eto ti bi bilo to moji dragi i drage.Nominovat ću par mojih curki Misty, Milicu, 
Mattie Mo, Selmu i Little Miss Confused. Ostale curke mogu naravno ako imaju
vremena i želje, odgovoriti na ova moja pitanja,a potom smisliti sopstvena i tagovati nekog drugog.Sretno vam :D


1. Da li ste ikada sanjali neki san koji izgleda kao nagovještaj budućnosti,vaše ili tuđe?
Opišite taj san.Ja sam npr. sanjala  svog supruga.No kidding.Bio je visok,dobro građen i imao je tjelohranitelje.Samo mu ne viđoh facu, inače bi danas već tri godine bili u braku.

2.Koju pjesmu/film/knjigu biste uvijek i iznova mogli slušati/gledati/čitati a da vam ne dosadi?

3.Kada bi imali priliku da promijenite nešto u svojoj prošlosti,šta bi to bilo?

4.Sjećate li se tko vam je bio prva simpatija?
Ako se sjećate imena i prezimena trk na Facebook pa ga prošpijunirajte.
Ja već jesam.Danas izgleda ko Lucky Luke :D

5.Koja vam je trenutno najveća želja ili san?

6.Vaša idealna kuća/stan izgleda..... i nalazi se u...........?
Zašto baš tamo? (možete postaviti i sliku umjesto da kuckate odgovor)

7.Čemu ste se zadnji put baš onako pravo nasmijali?

8. Šta vas je zadnji put baš naljutilo?

9.Citat,rečenica,riječ koja vas najbolje opisuje je?

10.Kad bi vi nekom morali dati savjet o bilo čemu,o bilo kojoj situaciji,
koji bi to savjet bio?

THE END!

Monday, September 7, 2015

Posted by Little Sukie Posted on Monday, September 07, 2015 | 3 comments

Anime Girl Questioning The World....and Herself

****


These past few months I became an emotional wreck.I don't know how it happened because
 I was never an overly emotional person and people rarely saw me cry.




Even my mom said it's weird because I didn't cry when I scrapped the skin of my legs when I feel from my bike or while she was beating the hell out of me when I did something wrong.Yes I was slapped and spanked as a kid.It was all for education purposes.Can't imagine how would I turn out otherwise. 



To sum up,nobody dear died, I don't have problems in the love department (Tom Hiddleston started dating Elizabeth Olsen but I'm so over it), money is tight as always but I'm used to it.So nothing big happened to trigger this state. I've been living like this for as long as I could remember.



Maybe it is stress or unreasonable demands and talk I get from people.Maybe I'm just sick of this entire "it will get better" shit.It is not getting better.This whole country is in the pile of shit and it is sinking deeper.But I'm kind of in a shithole of my own right now. 
I see Syrian refugees on TV and I start crying.A guy I know won a green ticket in a USA lottery and he moved to USA.That made me cry.My cousin got a scholarship to study in a foreign country so I cried.I watched a cat massaging a dog so I cried. Somebody dies in an anime and I cry my eyes out.I see that poor pensioners on the street and my eyes get teary.I'm applying for a master's course and I'm crying while filling out the application.Somebody says "Hi,how are you" and I burst into tears.
So I'm not in the right state of mind and my emotions are a tangled mess and nothing makes sense. Before you jump to conclusion, I have to tell you that it is not that time of the month. Right now I'm in my 27th summer/autumn so maybe some hormones and shit are kicking in and soon I will want to get married and have a brood of screaming kids.Dear God, please do not let that be a case with me. 
Maybe, the fact that things don't really go as I planned is finally sinking in.I became so fed up with everything that now my body is expressing it in it's own unique way.I don't know how your country works, but in mine,you haven't even started doing something and you already have billion obstacles in your way.When you actually start, that number triples. 



Anyway,had to lighten my soul here.It helped a little.
Now,back to reality.I wanted to call out God's name for help and guidance
 but then I remembered, I don't really believe in God anymore.Old habits die hard.